My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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