walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
