he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
