PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
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I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
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I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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