Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
