i barfeds in our rink
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
