If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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