Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
