wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
