Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
