Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My ATM looks so different sober.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Let's get the cat blown out
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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