I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
