I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
