He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
don't judge my taste in strippers
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
