Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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