I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think my moral compass just broke
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
