Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry redfocks hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.

Fav 7 3368 654
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?

Fav 15 9500 1377
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do

Fav 13 2525 1800
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.

Fav 14 7445 1657
share tweet
(775): View more from Nevada

I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.

Fav 7 3103 1283
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.

Fav 9 1450 3220
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line

Fav 12 3127 1121
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex

Fav 6 645 480
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.

Fav 0 54 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT