Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
