why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
