WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
