Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize