did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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