Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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