yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
