I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
