How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
