I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize