Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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