If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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