Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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