ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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