Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
