For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
