Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
