You can't motorboat a personality
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
