I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
and she was petting her beer can
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
