I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize