tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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