So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
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