you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize