i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
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I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
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Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?