i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.