Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?

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(281): so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad? http://tfl.nu/ttkx

Replies (18) Good night (1379) Bad night (5121)
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(913): View more from Kansas

The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.

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(913): The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them. http://tfl.nu/9puy

Replies (22) Good night (8450) Bad night (833)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.

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(203): My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn. http://tfl.nu/0pkd

Replies (12) Good night (958) Bad night (3857)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.

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(828): my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is. http://tfl.nu/zedm

Replies (14) Good night (5195) Bad night (861)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night

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(617): I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night http://tfl.nu/u1r5

Replies (29) Good night (1968) Bad night (7322)
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(305): View more from Florida

Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.

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(305): Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS. http://tfl.nu/tzd0

Replies (47) Good night (965) Bad night (9673)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.

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(719): Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible. http://tfl.nu/tds6

Replies (14) Good night (1701) Bad night (671)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.

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(404): I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success. http://tfl.nu/f7f6

Replies (12) Good night (3470) Bad night (671)
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(312): View more from Illinois

She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere

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(312): She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere http://tfl.nu/ps2s

Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (904)
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(909): View more from California

Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions

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(909): Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions http://tfl.nu/1fmr

Replies (6) Good night (799) Bad night (467)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.

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(541): Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing. http://tfl.nu/bqm2

Replies (1) Good night (506) Bad night (338)
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(323): View more from California

I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?

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(323): I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today? http://tfl.nu/ws7y

Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (342)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

This is my life. Enjoy the view

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(250): This is my life. Enjoy the view http://tfl.nu/hr1c

Replies (0) Good night (410) Bad night (195)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.

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(989): I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom. http://tfl.nu/avdp

Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (281)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I am one with the molecules

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(602): I am one with the molecules http://tfl.nu/9vlj

Replies (1) Good night (407) Bad night (127)

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