What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
