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• (518): View more from New York

  i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  did it start talking like on Land before time?

  Fav 12 4351 937

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar

  Fav 23 2794 1993

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.

  Fav 21 6221 1607

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.

  Fav 40 13016 1801

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• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (469): View more from Texas

  I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.

  Fav 10 4402 1451

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.

  Fav 6 3565 1170

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.

  Fav 10 1981 2539

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?

  Fav 12 1493 2820

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?

  Fav 4 878 1981

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..

  Fav 9 1869 1247

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.

  Fav 4 2383 755

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am

  Fav 7 1044 1779

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  "Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.

  Fav 8 811 1151

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• (555): View more from

  I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?

  Fav 2 78 17

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?

  Fav 1 15 45

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