she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog