I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
