Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
