i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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