Your mouth is God's brothel.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
