Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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