Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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