If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
