I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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