I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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