if i can run in heels then i can drive
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
