Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
