she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
