i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
