so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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