So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
People in love make me want to vomit
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
