Can Purell be used as lube?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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