me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
bring money and cleavage
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
