I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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