tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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