where am i from again
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
