I am puke
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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