i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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