He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
