weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
