Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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