i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
